I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
