i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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