Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
