Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
