Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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