Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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