Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
tell your sister to shave her snatch
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
