I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
