remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
