I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
