There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
