Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
