I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
