At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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