When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
