heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
