So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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