it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
