if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Ketchup is God's man juice
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize