he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
How external is "for external use only"?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
