yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
