so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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