in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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