Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
