I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
