there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
