no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
