It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
