No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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