didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
