I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
