dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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