Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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