she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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