I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
birth control should be required to get into college
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
