I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize