There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
