I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
he puts the penis in happiness.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
