dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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