Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
