It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Terrible idea I love it
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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