His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
