yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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