i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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