i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Randomize
