i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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