Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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