Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
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I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
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i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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