I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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