I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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