Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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