Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you would pick up someone in the library
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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