wanna go halves on a baby?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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