the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
It's just like the Real World with babies
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
