just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
now i know why i became what i already was.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
