I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I can tuck mytits in my pants
grandma shit on top of the toilet
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize