So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
