Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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