either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
