i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
