Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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