Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
