I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You are the jesus of drinking
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Oh god it's open bar.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
