I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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